‎51 Reasons:Uri muZimba chaiye ramba tinzwe

YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM ZIMBABWE IF......
1. You only buy drinks when you have visitors.
2. You think BORED means annoyed, frustrated or disappointed (as inwaakundibhowa manje)
... 3. You cannot count up to ten in your own language and are proud of it
4. You think plastic bag and paper bag are the same thing.
5. You can HEAR smells.(ndiri kunzwa kasmero)

6. You think buses STAND (bhazi rakamira) and cars DIE.(yafa ka?)
7. You think money can be EATEN. ( akadya mari yangu!!)
8. You ever had to get off "after hump", "palight" or "pagiveway"
"pano mukuwasha", "pamarara" , "pamujakaranda wechi 2","padombo"
9. You think the whole of the U.K is London .
10. You think perfume and deodorant is the same thing.
11. You ever had to smack your T.V to get better reception.
12. You know what "the Epilogue" on the T.V is.
13. You know what VISIONA is.
14 You only go to the dentist when you have a toothache.

15. You think that Coca-cola is the generic name for allsoftdrinks,>Cobra> for all floor polish, Surf for all washing powder &Colgate for all toothpaste
16. You can actually understand what is said by Tsitsi Mawarire, KudziMarudza and Rueben Barwe.
17. You only know two types of salad- coleslaw and coleslaw.
18. You only have 3 spices- salt, mhiripiri and Royco usavi mix.
19. You believe in recycling- old tyres make good shoes, old stockingsare great for shining the floor, newspaper makes good toilet paper andold cars make good chicken coops.

20. You know how to fit 10 people into a sedan.
21. You know there are two classes of people- maNOSE and maSRB but arenot sure where you belong.
22. You bad-mouth the gvt but never vote.
23. You hear the word WEDDING and immediately think of STEPS.
24. You know what DAMAGE is, in relation to marriage.
25. Your idea of eating out is going to Chicken Inn.
26. It takes a whole day and a half to get a passport or an I.D.
27. You have seen the inside of a blair toilet.
28. You have ever walked to a drive-inn cinema.

30. For you christmas means new clothes, and christmas dinner is riceand chicken.
32. You have ever named your dog after animals that are not remotelyrelated to dogs. e.g. Tiger and Spider.
33. You think everyone from another country is better than you.
34. You know all the 4 seasons, Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer andChristmas.
35. You think of the 4 major food groups as Beef, Chicken, Sadza & Tea.
40. You know several Muzenda jokes.

45. You forward this to other Zimbabweans
46. Going to your rural home is going on holiday
47. your fridge usually has 2ltr mazoe containers filled with wateronly
48. you know all the specs of the latest BMW, Merc or Lexus but you donot own even a bicycle
49.You visit a relative without prior notice and will try to stay foras long as possible (nekuti pane chikafu...)
50. You've never been to the Falls, Kariba or Eastern Highlands buthave been to Joburg, Dubai etc several times (madhiri...!)

51. You watch TV whilst your radio is on.

Interview with God

Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get mad
... ... ... ...
God: I promise

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed):Okay

God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm Sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...

Life to Jesus Christ

Live your life for Him who matters, Jesus Christ!! Most American stars are trapped by love of riches & fame yet they die like rats, Michael Jackson; Whitney Houston and many more have gone this way as if they never wowed the world; let your finishing in life be the best.